You see all kinds of things on Florida’s beaches. Sand crabs. Seaweed. Beach volleyball tournaments. Weddings. A homeless man performing cunnilingus on a woman. Enter 50-year-old Tracy Briley, the Grizzly Adams-looking sumbitch in the photo above.
A man and his three-year-old grandson came across the act of consensual sex between Briley and the unidentified woman on Wednesday, Aug. 24, according to the Smoking Gun. The act happened on the beach boardwalk. We we can only assume she was homeless as well because, well, what woman with a mortgage is going to think getting lapped up by a homeless Richard Gere is a good idea?
We’ve gotta give Briley credit, though. He had some pretty awesome excuses for his actions. For starters, he told officers he was an emergency responder “and had to assist the female as it was his duty,” according to the criminal complaint. And for those of you in the “get-a-room” brigade, Briley cleverly pointed out that he was homeless and “had nowhere else to have sex except in public.” Shrewd. As for the woman, she was not arrested but was taken to a local hospital in “reference to a medical issue.” Briley is facing one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition and misdemeanor trespassing, and is being held at the county jail near Treasure Island.