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Patrick Bruce, Semen Pourer

Tallahassee Man Pours Cup Of Semen On Panera Bread Customer

Tallahassee’s own Patrick Bruce, 28, made national headlines this week after his case appeared in the Tallahassee Democrat. Bruce’s claim to fame: pouring semen onto a woman’s neck, shoulder and arm.

According to the news site, Bruce walked into a Panera Bread and began staring at the woman and her friend. He left, came back with a foam cup, and retreated into the bathroom to allegedly rub one off. When he walked out, he poured the cup on the woman, said, “Here you go,” and apologized for “spilling” the contents on her. Sounds crazy, we know, but this was also a guy who got in trouble previously for rubbing his bare genitals on a woman at a Cancun’s two months earlier.

Just when you think pervs can’t get any more bizarre, Florida is here to show you they can.