An Orange County, Fla., woman is on the loose this week for the crime of ringing doorbells. Okay, so we’re not sure if it’s a crime, but when you do it in the middle of the night while intoxicated, you better have a damn good reason if you don’t want to be locked up.
That’s at least how homeowners are feeling, according to a report from WFTV 9, in which many of the “victims” report being worried for their safety. How do they know it’s a woman doing the ringing, you may be asking? Well, the dumbass isn’t just ringing the doorbells and fleeing like a decent prankster. She’s sticking around until they answer, then asking for money. What’s particularly unusual about this lady is that she’s been doing it multiple nights, apparently, and she isn’t your standard, run-of-the-mill 8 p.m., just-as-you’re-trying-to-eat-dinner visitor. She has been staging her visits at around 3 a.m., with one homeowner saying that it’s happened “a dozen times.”
Safety alert, lady: you may want to hold off until the presidential election is over to see how that whole Second Amendment thing goes before resuming activities. Florida is armed and dangerous, and the fact you’re still breathing is no small miracle.