Death, it is said, is no way to make a living. But if you’re going to make a go of it, you should at least try to go through the motions. You know, stuff like ripping out the innards, filling the body with embalming fluid, fitting Great Great Great Grandpa Jackson into his favorite blue suit. All of that common sense was lost on tonight’s pair of winners.
Two Panama City funeral home proprietors are doing their part to make the Florida panhandle a tourism hotspot. Gregory Dunphy, 64, and Felicia Boesch, 39, were arrested by Panama City Police and charged with 16 misdemeanor counts of unlawful storage of human remains. That came after authorities discovered the 16 bodies in various states of decomposition throughout the facility (Brock’s Home Town Funeral Home, according to Fox13 News). Some of the corpses were in refrigeration. Some were chilling in other parts of the house. None were chilling at the right temp, though, and none of them had been embalmed.
What sucks about this particular case, Florida, is that it was the fucking panhandle. We were just a few miles away from pinning it on Alabama. Such is life.