Have you no self control, Publix shoppers? There are certain ground rules when it comes to getting laid in a parking lot for one of Florida’s most beloved supermarkets. One, you park far away from the building. Two, you don’t do it in broad daylight. (Wait for the night shift.) Three, you don’t bring more than one person along for the ride.
Unfortunately, 44-year-old Jason Ronald Saurette followed none of those protocols when he engaged with Spring Ladawn Aiken, who we assume is his girlfriend. (But maybe that’s just us being naive.) The pair got busy inside their vehicle, which was parked just a few paces away from the front door. A third person was in the back watching, doing God-knows-what. Naturally, patrons of Publix there for the right reasons complained to management, and the police got involved from there, according to the Palm Beach Post. Now brace yourself, everyone. Drugs were involved. Yes, we know. Shocking. Officers found substances and paraphernalia on two of the three — Jason and the chick in the back.
This is just more evidence of our state’s oversexed ways. When you can’t go to the store for a pack of hot dogs without seeing someone chowing down on a man-dog in the parking lot, it’s time to put some clothes on, people … August or not.