Goddammit Florida, it’s hard enough finding the will to live when you work fast food. We remember what it was like back in the day. Having to pep talk yourself out of bed, then double down just to keep from sticking your head in the deep fryer after some shitty old woman wants to watch you cook her burger to make sure you’re doing it right. Bottom line: life is hard enough without assholes like Joshua James beaning you with an alligator from the drive-thru window.
Unfortunately, the poor crew at a Wendy’s in Jupiter got the shock of a lifetime when James pulled up and chunked a 3.5 foot long alligator through the window, according to Fox News. Neither the alligator nor the crew were amused. We’re betting the officer that ended up taping the damn thing’s jaws shut long enough to release him to the wild wasn’t pleased either. That’s probably why James ended up having the book thrown at him. Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Unlawful sale, possession or transporting of an alligator. Petty theft. We could probably think of a few more if you gave us long enough.
While pretty much everyone who’s ever worked at a fast food restaurant has fantasized about doing this sort of thing, James doesn’t have that excuse. Apparently Fate just brought him into contact with the gator as he was driving down the road, and he thought it would be hilarious to drop it off at the window. As a result, he’s been ordered to stay away from all Wendy’s restaurants as well as pretty much anything on four legs (minus his mother’s pooch). Probably for the best.