Here’s a double rarity out of our great state — a manatee story that doesn’t involve Jimmy Buffett and a report of a homeless man actually riding one of these great big lazy behemoths, which is apparently against the law.
KAIT8 reports that 47-year-old James Roy Massengale Jr. was arrested after witnesses spotted him “touching two adult manatees and two calves swimming.” Assuming he was doing something horrible to the things, they told him molesting manatees was illegal. Massengale took exception to being characterized as a manatee rapist so he clarified that he was simply riding the creatures. Police arrived on the scene and were going to just hit him with a misdemeanor, but Massengale got mouthy, chanting for the officers to take him to jail, so they obliged.
Yeah, three hots and a cot. That’ll teach that homeless man to dick around with our laws.