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Masturbation In Public: 'I've Been Doing It For Years'

Hallandale Beach Has The Best Public Masturbation Places On Earth

Hallandale Beach is Broward County’s best kept secret for masturbation hotspots. That’s at least if you’re talking to 34-year-old Neil White. He was recently picked up for rubbing one off on a milk cart while sitting in a bathroom stall at B.F. James Park. It wasn’t his first rodeo either.

White said that he’d been coming to that particular bathroom for years and estimated a total of 30 jam sessions. Once, he even had to pay a group of schoolchildren not to milk him for everything he had. White claimed that he got “sexual pleasure from masturbating in public places,” according to Local10.

More sympathetic, we could not be. After a while, the magic of a relationship fades. You start going through the motions. Then one day you wake up and feel as though you don’t even know the other person. You’ve gotta keep things fresh and exciting, and Hallandale Beach is the place where reborn passion is in the palm of your hands. (Note to area travel writers: make checks payable in the amount of $1 million to ThatsSoFlorida.com. That is all.)