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Florida Diaper Thief Makes Off With $700 Of Product

Florida Man Steals $700 Worth Of Diapers

For any parent who ever hated to swallow the idea that every time you buy a box of diapers, your kid is literally shitting away your paycheck, this story is for you. Local10 reports that a North Lauderdale man stole over $700 worth of crap-collectors from an area Walmart.

Franck-Guy Thimothee, 33, was apparently tired of seeing so much of his money literally go to waste that he allegedly pulled a Raising Arizona and heisted the things, which if we’re going with a standard price of $20 per box, means he attempted to get out with 35 boxes of diapers. Sure, he broke it up over three trips, but that’s still enough where you have to admire the size of the guy’s balls.

Unfortunately, the extent of this guy’s caring for his child goes out the window when you read the affidavit because he apparently did it, then sold the diapers to (unsuspecting?) mothers. Damn. He also stole undershirts, sneakers, and hygiene products. Hm. Okay, fuck that guy.

[Image via Mickey_Liaw | Flickr Creative Commons | Resized and Cropped | CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]