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Michael Reyna Gets DUI For 20-Year-Old Wisdom Teeth Surgery

Florida Man Claims Speech Slurred From 20-Year-Old Dental Surgery

There are different ways of measuring how fucked up you are while drinking. Over the years, Florida residents have gotten quite good at being able to judge. Unfortunately, it’s a clarity that usually comes with hindsight, as we’re sure it will for 46-year-old Michael Reyna.

The motorist was slurring your speech because of a wisdom teeth operation he had … 20 years ago. He also attributed his trouble walking to a stabbing injury he had several years earlier. It also didn’t help that he blew just under a 0.1 (well above the legal limit of 0.08, according to TCPalm.

Look for Reyna’s debut book, A Surgical Guide to Fucking Up Your DUI Checkpoint, coming soon to bookstores everywhere. (Okay, that’s a joke; but we would totally read it.) After all, in this state, a 0.1 BAC is inevitable at some point.