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Penis Mangler Doctor Arrested

Florida ‘Doctor’ Practices Illegal Medicine, Mangles Man’s Penis

Dr. Mark Schreiber is the stuff of nightmares. Practicing at what the Toronto Sun calls an “illegal clinic” outside Miami, the incompetent and/or downright cruel Schreiber recently did the most hideous operation of all time on a patient’s junk.

The patient went into Schreiber’s “clinic” in need of a “penis filler.” He awoke to bloody bandages and a penis that looked like something out of a horror movie. After selfie-ing what was left of himself, the patient texted photos to Schreiber, who advised tying his penis back together with the aid of two popsicle sticks.

Son of a bitch. Give us a minute. Turns out, this isn’t the only time Schreiber has been connected to a botched penis job, making us think this isn’t just gross incompetence but vindictive behavior. Either way, be damn careful about where you get your penis enhancements, guys.