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Hurricane Matthew Forces Drastic Measures From Car Enthusiast

Florida Car Enthusiast 1, Hurricane Matthew 0

Who needs expensive auto insurance for protection against Hurricane Matthew when you can simply drive it through the front door? Motor Trend reports that one man living on the Florida coastline decided to not take any chances as the storm battered his hometown. A natural car enthusiast — geez, y’think!? — Instagram user jalilsup moved…

Cop Donut Jokes Never Get Old

Gotta Love A Cop That Can Crack A Good Donut Joke

With so much tension these days between the police and the public, it’s always good when you can see examples of law enforcement not taking themselves too seriously. Over the last few days, Hurricane Matthew has been one hell of a troublemaker for our state. Jacksonville Police decided to lighten the mood with a Facebook…

McDonalds Couple Stalled At Drive Thru

McDonald’s Couple Falls Asleep In Drive-Thru

McDonald’s drive-thru lines … what’s the point? Nine times out of 10 you’ll get your damn food faster if you just park it and order to-go inside. Why? A) Lines are notoriously long; and B) You never know when you’ll run into a situation where the car ahead of you is full of spaced-out whackadoodles….

Florida Woman Caught Talking To Smokes In Vero Beach

Vero Beach Woman Arrested After Talking To Her Pack Of Smokes

Stay off the drugs, kids. They can make you behave in some strange ways, such as the case of Anna Ledis, a 46-year-old Vero Beach woman who was recently arrested for driving under the influence. While there is nothing too over-the-top about someone getting arrested for DUI — happens every day in the great state…

Oviedo Chicken Returns Home

Oviedo Child ‘Devastated’ Over Pet Chicken Theft Gets Good News

Some bittersweet news today out of Oviedo. The sons o’bitches that stole a little girl’s pet chicken have returned it. The Palm Beach Post reported that some unknown thieves had made off with a little girl’s pet chicken that she adorably named “Pretty,” and, according to the father, the little girl was absolutely heartbroken over…

Florida Men Capture Alligator And Release It

Two Florida Men Charged With Felonies For Capturing (And Releasing) Alligator

All right, law and order crowd, we’ve got a really fucking stupid one for you today. Two men could face up to five years in prison for illegally catching — note, catching, not harming — an alligator in Palm Beach County. According to the Washington Post, David Swick and Brian Bunting, the latter of whom…

Valero 10000 Charge Gets Snippy Response

Valero Charges Woman $10,000 For $20 Of Gas

A North Fort Myers gas station manager has officially qualified as one of the top 10 most hated men in the world after his response to a billing mistake. According to WFTX, a woman stopped at a local Valero station and pumped out $20 worth of gas, which she placed on her credit card. Later,…

Martin Shkreli Auctions Off Punch In Face

Florida Woman Wins Right To Do God’s Work, Punch Martin Shkreli In The Face

We here in Florida are a fierce and righteous people, eager to right wrongs whenever opportunity presents itself. Opportunity recently knocked when the hated Martin Shkreli auctioned off the opportunity to punch him in the face. Shkreli, as many of you will remember, is the guy that hiked the price on a life-saving drug for AIDS…

Sorry I Tased You Cake Doesn't Go Over Well

‘Sorry I Tased You!’ Cake Doesn’t Go Over As Well As You Might Think

An Escambia County deputy is now the defendant in a civil lawsuit brought against a woman he allegedly tased by accident and then tried to mend fences through the glorious gifts of cake and sugar frosting. Stephanie Byron brought suit against Deputy Michael Wohlers, alleging that Wohlers “used excessive force … violated her civil rights, committed battery…

Glock Fishing Is Now A Thing

Glock Fishing! Florida Invents Yet Another Awesome Way To Enjoy The Outdoors

Whenever someone modifies the normal methods of animal destruction, there are always ninnies who are going to cry out about it. That’s already happening with Bradenton’s own Courtland Hunt. Hunt recently posted a video on YouTube of him wasting a lionfish with with a modified Glock handgun. First thing, if you’ve never eaten a lionfish,…