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Shawn Schmidli Arrested

Florida Administrator Goes ‘Old School,’ Running Naked Along S.R. 100

In a scene ripped straight from the classic comedy Old School, a Flagler County school administrator somehow got beyond messed up and went for a pleasant little jog on State Road 100 in Bunnell — completely, inescapably, butt-ass naked. Shawn Schmidli, the 35-year-old director of growth and management for Flagler County Schools, was observed near the…

Coprolite World Record

Florida Man Holds The World’s Sh*ttiest Record

Numerous people throughout our great country want to be record holders, and it absolutely doesn’t matter what category it’s in. Leave it to a Florida man, 36-year-old George Frandsen, to prove us right in that statement with his … peculiar … Guinness World Records accolade. Biggest Crap @SouthPark pic.twitter.com/cV7OOUmFld — Skull Man (@fernantonio) June 3,…

Penis Mangler Doctor Arrested

Florida ‘Doctor’ Practices Illegal Medicine, Mangles Man’s Penis

Dr. Mark Schreiber is the stuff of nightmares. Practicing at what the Toronto Sun calls an “illegal clinic” outside Miami, the incompetent and/or downright cruel Schreiber recently did the most hideous operation of all time on a patient’s junk. The patient went into Schreiber’s “clinic” in need of a “penis filler.” He awoke to bloody…

Half Headed Man Arrested

Famous Half-Headed Man Arrested For Attempted Murder, Arson

Just when you thought you had this whole politically correct thing down pat, creepy ass Carlos Rodriguez has to come along with his half-a-head and penchant for evil. NBC Miami reports that this crazy-ass motherfucker attempted to commit arson and murder. What’s worse, when he was booked for the alleged crimes, he had to show…

Toe Sucking Arrest

Toe-Sucking Creep Indulges On Phalanges After Asking To Pray With Woman

How do you feel about feet, gang? Well, one Gainesville man really, really likes them. So much so, that he decided to help himself to a lady’s toes (without getting clearance first, of course). Fifty-two-year-old Hasmukhbhai Patel noticed a woman standing outside her apartment building dragging on a cigarette. Patel approached her with the opening…

Yellowfin Tuna Swallows Male Genitals

Fishermen Catch A Yellowfin Tuna With A Mouth Full Of Human Genitals

What the hell’s the deal with people losing their genitals in the water? First, BP oil spills, now this? The disturbing thing is we’re about to share the second Florida-based case this week where a man lost his goods to a sea- or water-faring creature. Of course, the last one was a guy cutting off…

Woman Hides ID In Vagina

Florida Transplant Hides ID In Vagina To Stymie Cops, Publicly Urinates

The human private parts are wonderful things. Not only are they a source of pleasure and transporting icky waste from our bodies, but they can also make for one hell of a hiding place. Just ask Hollywood, Florida’s own Taccara Nauden. The 28-year-old woman was riding in a vehicle pulled over in connection to a…